Ah, millennials. This generation is often credited (or blamed) for challenging traditional norms, from shifting food preferences to rethinking luxury purchases. Now, it seems many are redefining family priorities too. As 2030 approaches, it appears some millennials prefer nurturing plants over kids. Curious? Sip on your oat milk latte and let’s explore why diaper changes aren’t on the agenda for some.
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Who chooses to raise a child in this broken world
Fix It First, Breed Later
The millennial generation has been handed a world that seems to be careening down a hill with no brakes. We were promised a world of progress and possibility, but instead, we’re looking around and wondering, “Who left the stove on?”
First, there’s the whole climate change fiasco. We were told to recycle, turn off the lights, and maybe plant a tree on Arbor Day. But now, it seems like those efforts were the environmental equivalent of putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. With each passing year, the polar ice caps are shrinking faster than our hopes of affording a down payment on a house. Meanwhile, wildfires have become an annual season, and coastal cities are contemplating investing in floating real estate.
Then there’s the political landscape. If you’ve looked at the news anytime in the last decade, you might think we’ve collectively stumbled into a real-life version of “The Hunger Games.” The polarization and constant bickering make a family Thanksgiving dinner look like a Zen meditation retreat. And let’s not even start on the apparent popularity contest of who can accumulate the most nuclear weapons.
Next up on the “Oh Dear, What Now?” list is economic inequality. It’s as though someone took the wealth of the world, divided it into 100 pieces, and then said, “Here, 1% of the population, you take 50 pieces. The remaining 99%, you guys can fight over the rest.” We’re in a world where billionaires are shooting for Mars, while the rest of us are trying to shoot for making rent.
Let’s not forget the cherry on top: the constant threat of new and exciting global pandemics. Just when we thought we were getting a handle on this whole ‘adulting’ thing, along comes a virus that has us masking up, locking down, and frantically sanitizing our groceries.
So, here we are, looking at this broken world and wondering how we’re supposed to raise a child in it. Sure, there’s resilience, hope, and all those other uplifting words. But it’s kind of hard to remember those when it feels like the world is playing a perpetual game of disaster bingo.
So, before you ask a millennial when they’re going to have a baby, maybe ask them when they think the world’s going to get its act together. Chances are, those two timelines might be more intertwined than you think.
Pregnancy is stressful
My Body, My Rules
Buckle up, folks, because this one is a bumpy ride! Pregnancy, that age-old “miracle of life,” is not all glowing skin and cute baby bump photoshoots. It’s a nine-month-long roller coaster of nausea, weird food cravings, bizarre body changes, mood swings, and, let’s not forget, the absolute horror-show that is childbirth. Did I mention it’s like pushing a watermelon through a nostril?!
Jokes aside, pregnancy is a physically taxing process. There’s no ‘glow’ when you’re throwing up at all hours thanks to morning (read: all-day) sickness. And the word ‘miracle’ might lose its charm when you’re dealing with swollen feet, aching backs, and the looming reality of labor pain. And that’s when things go well. Let’s not even get into complications like preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, or postpartum depression.
In an ideal world, every pregnancy would be planned, every child would be wanted, and every mother would be ready. But hey, we live in a world where people argue on the internet about whether the earth is flat, so let’s get real. Not every millennial is jumping at the idea of turning their bodies into a human 3D printer, especially not when the software is prone to bugs and the hardware, well, let’s just say it’s not always up for the task.
And then, there’s the final boss level of pregnancy: childbirth. Our medical advancements may have made it safer, but ‘safe’ is a relative term when you’re talking about squeezing a human being out of a very sensitive part of your body! Let’s face it, in a battle between a baby’s head and the laws of physics, there’s going to be a lot of screaming.
Some might say it’s selfish to consider these things when there’s a potential life at stake. To them, I say this: My body, my rules. It’s not selfish to prioritize your health and well-being. And frankly, it’s downright heroic to acknowledge that you’re not cut out for the physical ordeal that is pregnancy and choose to step away. There’s no shame in saying no to stretch marks, hormonal roller coasters, or potential urinary incontinence.
In the end, the decision to not have kids is as personal as the decision to have them. And no one should be shamed for choosing to skip the ‘miracle of life’ marathon. After all, there’s more than one way to contribute to the world, and millennials are proving it one childfree choice at a time. So, here’s to bodily autonomy, to acknowledging the toll of pregnancy, and to respecting personal choices. Because there’s more than one way to live a fulfilling life, and having kids is not the be-all and end-all of existence.
Raising a child is expensive
Show Me the Money…Or Not
Let’s set the stage with a question: What’s more terrifying than a horror movie marathon at 3 am in a haunted house? If your answer is, “Looking at my bank account,” congratulations! You might be a millennial. If there’s one thing millennials can agree on, it’s that we’re often strapped for cash. And raising a child? Well, that’s like willingly jumping into a financial black hole, armed only with a handful of coupons and a prayer.
Kids, bless their cotton socks, are expensive. Seriously, they’re like non-stop, noisy money pits. And that’s just for starters. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, it costs an average of $233,610 to raise a child from birth to the age of 17. That’s not even factoring in college tuition. I mean, come on, we might as well start stuffing dollar bills into their diapers!
Let’s face it, the cost of living isn’t getting any lower, and wages aren’t exactly skyrocketing. In this financial tug of war, millennials are the rope. On one end, there’s rising rent, crushing student loan debt, and the haunting specter of an unstable job market. On the other, there’s the cost of raising a child, which is equivalent to buying a brand new Lamborghini. Except, instead of a sleek, sexy, status symbol, you get a bundle of joy that poops. A lot.
But let’s break it down. First up, we have the pre-childbirth costs. Prenatal care, maternity clothes, and the baby’s first bedroom (which looks like a Pinterest explosion). Ka-ching! Then, there’s the cost of delivery, which can range from $5,000 to a whopping $14,000. Double ka-ching!
Fast-forward a bit, and we’ve got diapers, baby food, clothes they’ll outgrow in a month, pediatrician visits, babysitters, and the list goes on. Did I mention daycare costs as much as college tuition in some states? Triple ka-ching!
Let’s not even get started on the burden of housing. Between soaring rent prices and the elusive dream of home ownership, it’s more like a nightmare on Elm Street than the American Dream.
By now, the only thing thinner than our wallets is our patience for people asking, “So, when are you having kids?” Trust me, Susan, if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me that, I might actually be able to afford one.
In conclusion, the millennial reluctance to procreate isn’t just about being ‘selfish’ or ‘immature.’ It’s about not wanting to bring a child into a world where their parents have to choose between buying groceries and paying rent. Because the only thing scarier than a 2 am diaper blowout is the thought of not being able to provide for your child. So, the next time someone asks you why you’re not having kids, just smile and say, “I can’t afford the luxury of bankruptcy.”
Most educated and underpaid in history
Degrees Without Dollars
Picture this, dear reader: A troop of eager young folks, armed to the teeth with diplomas and degrees. They march forth into the world, heads held high, hearts full of dreams. These are the millennials, the most educated generation in history! A standing ovation, please. Wait, hold the applause. See, there’s a plot twist.
Enter our arch-nemesis: Underpayment. Yes, folks, in an ironic turn of events, we millennials have become the champions of debt, despite being the most educated generation yet. It’s like being the best swimmer at the Olympics but being asked to compete in ice-skating. Uh-oh!
We have degrees (some of us multiple) and yet, we’re caught in an eternal cycle of internships and entry-level jobs. Why, you ask? Because “Experience Required: 5 Years” for a job that pays enough to afford a house that isn’t a cardboard box is apparently a thing. You know what else is a thing? Living with roommates till we’re forty because the wage doesn’t quite match the cost of living.
Let’s not forget, we’re also the generation that faced the double whammy of the 2008 recession and the 2020 pandemic. Talk about rotten luck! It’s like finally saving enough to buy a nice ice cream cone, only for a seagull to swoop down and snatch it away. Twice!
So, we’ve become masters of stretching the dollar. Our theme song? “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie, of course! But instead of “Pressure pushing down on me”, it’s “Debt pushing down on me”. We millennials can make a dollar stretch so far it would give even Mr. Fantastic a run for his money.
Now, try adding a kid to this mix. It’s like trying to fit an elephant into a Mini Cooper. Children, dear reader, are not cheap. They’re the Gucci of life’s offerings, the Prada of personal choices. And our bank accounts are more in the thrift shop category.
So, we’ve chosen to forgo having children altogether. Because, really, who wants to bring a child into a world where you have to choose between paying rent and buying groceries? I mean, we might have been good at playing ‘The Floor is Lava’ as kids, but playing ‘The Wallet is Empty’ as adults? Not so fun.
In conclusion, until the scales of education and income balance out for us millennials, we’ll hold off on the baby-making. After all, we’re champions, and champions know when to fight and when to strategize. And right now, we’re strategizing for a future where we can offer our children more than just a mountain of debt and a closet full of diplomas.
Scared of being unable to provide the same opportunities we received
Fear of Missing Out…On Opportunities
Once upon a time, a child’s success was measured by how quickly they could climb the apple tree in the backyard. Fast forward a few decades, and we’re now in a world where success is determined by the number of Ivy League acceptance letters one can staple to their resume. The ever-increasing academic and extracurricular expectations placed on children, and by extension their parents, is enough to give any self-respecting millennial a migraine.
Who amongst us hasn’t had nightmares of being unable to provide the same opportunities that we were afforded? The thought of our future child not having access to music classes, sports teams, coding camps, chess clubs, and Mars colonization summer schools is enough to cause cold sweats. We millennials are known for our competitive nature, and the prospect of not being able to afford a quantum physics tutor for our hypothetical five-year-old is a hurdle too high to jump.
Consider this: the cost of just one year of college education in the US has increased by more than 25% in the last decade. I mean, at this rate, we’ll have to start saving for our kids’ education before we’ve even met their other parent. And let’s not even get started on the cost of preschool – it’s like you need a successful hedge fund just to afford finger painting and nap time.
Perhaps our fear is not so much about missing out on opportunities but more about plunging our offspring into a never-ending race. A race with increasing entry fees and no guarantee of a medal at the end. In this dystopian world of participation trophies and parents who mortgage their futures for SAT prep courses, perhaps choosing not to play the game is the most sane choice a millennial can make. After all, who wants their child’s first words to be “extracurricular activities”?
With all this in mind, the millennial’s decision to forego children becomes less about selfishness and more about a deeply ingrained fear of not being able to provide the best for them. We’ve seen the world demand more and more from us, and we’re not sure if we want to place our children on this never-ending treadmill. Can you blame us for taking a rain check on parenthood?
There are too many of us
Overcrowded Earth, Anyone?
Let’s move from the heavy philosophical ponderings to a more concrete concern. Earth’s party is getting a little crowded, don’t you think? With around 7.8 billion people currently hogging the global dance floor (and many of them not even knowing how to do the floss dance right), one might be forgiven for thinking twice about bringing in another guest.
You see, the millennial generation is one of the first to genuinely worry about the concept of ‘overpopulation’. We’ve seen the documentaries, read the dystopian novels, and freaked out over the climate change infographics. We’re acutely aware that every additional human represents another potential strain on our already stretched resources. This isn’t just a case of ‘more the merrier’; it’s more like ‘more the scarier’.
At a time when we’re already questioning the ethics of avocados and debating the carbon footprint of a Netflix binge, the idea of adding another consumer to the mix can feel a little overwhelming. And let’s be real, it’s not just any consumer we’re talking about; it’s a diaper-dumping, toy-demanding, future-teenager who’ll probably need their own data plan before they’ve even started pre-school.
So, do we really want to contribute to an overpopulated world? More importantly, do we want to raise a child in a world where people are already fighting over water, land, and the last piece of toilet paper? It’s not about being selfish or shirking responsibility; it’s about acknowledging the harsh realities of our planet’s situation and making a conscious choice based on that understanding.
The overcrowded Earth argument might be one of the more grim reasons millennials are choosing not to have children, but it’s a valid one. And it’s probably one of the few instances where being antisocial might just be the most social thing you can do. So next time someone criticizes millennials for not having kids, just tell them we’re doing it for the planet. It’s a lot harder to argue with that.
Career or Kids?
How About Just Career?
Ah, the age-old dilemma: pursuing a fulfilling career or dedicating time to raise a family. Traditionalists might insist it’s possible to have both, but any millennial knows that’s as likely as finding a reasonably priced apartment in San Francisco.
There’s a reason why it’s called the “work-life balance” and not the “work-kid balance.” Juggling a career and child-rearing is like trying to do a tightrope walk while juggling flaming swords – blindfolded. You’re always one misstep away from plunging into a pit of chaos.
Imagine the typical day of a working parent: you’ve got deadlines to meet, meetings to attend, a boss to please, and then you get a call from school saying your kid has decided to use the art supplies to redecorate the classroom. Meanwhile, you’re supposed to whip up a nutritious dinner, help with homework, and somehow find time to sleep. Oh, and did we mention that your social life is as extinct as the dodo?
And what about maternity or paternity leave? In countries where such concepts are as foreign as the idea of a quiet toddler, you’re expected to bounce back to work before you’ve even figured out the whole diaper-changing business.
Now, contrast that with a childfree life: you get to focus on your job, work on your own schedule, and actually have time for hobbies and personal interests. You get to climb the corporate ladder without the added weight of parent-teacher meetings, school fees, and pediatrician appointments.
Choosing a career over kids isn’t about being cold or uncaring; it’s about acknowledging that sometimes you can’t have it all. Some millennials find more fulfillment in their work than they might in parenting, and that’s okay. It’s not a choice between selfishness and sacrifice, but rather, it’s about finding where your passions truly lie. So, when presented with the option of career or kids, it’s no surprise many millennials are choosing to keep their eyes on the job. And honestly, can you blame them? After all, last we checked, promotions don’t come with diaper duties.
Its easier to have a pet
So, Pets Please!
If millennials had a slogan, it could very well be “Pets, not progeny!” Yes, this generation loves their furry friends. Dogs, cats, hamsters, iguanas, you name it – if it’s got a cute snout, millennials are all over it.
Pet adoption rates among millennials are soaring, while baby cradles remain empty. Why? Because pets provide the affection and companionship we crave without the overwhelming responsibility of a child. Pets don’t need college funds, they don’t throw tantrums in the grocery store, and they certainly don’t demand the latest iPhone (although they may chew through a few charger cables).
Pets also offer emotional support, which, let’s face it, we can all use in these anxiety-inducing times. Dogs can’t fix the economy or the environment, but they sure as heck can make you feel better about it. After all, it’s pretty hard to stay stressed when you’re looking into a pair of puppy dog eyes.
Raising pets also gives us a sense of responsibility and fulfillment. We’re nurturing a living being, just without the complications of parent-teacher meetings or childcare costs. Sure, we might have to deal with the occasional chewed-up shoe or midnight ‘bathroom’ emergencies, but we consider that a small price to pay for constant companionship.
Let’s also address the convenience factor here. Pets fit into our busy, unpredictable lifestyles. We can work a full day, hit the gym, grab dinner with friends, and come home to a wagging tail. No need to rush home for feeding times, or worry about late-night cries. And with the growing pet-care industry, we even have options for pet daycare and dog walkers. How great is that?
In conclusion, it seems like millennials have got it figured out. Who needs the pitter-patter of tiny feet when you can have the click-clack of paws on your hardwood floor? A house filled with purrs, wags, and unconditional love sounds like a pretty good deal to us!
Finally, it seems we millennials have found a solution to our parental instincts: pets. They’re cute, they’re cuddly, and best of all, they don’t require a college fund. With pet parenthood offering a taste of responsibility without the 18-year commitment, it’s no wonder we’re filling our homes with fur babies instead of human ones.
In conclusion, we millennials have a whole potpourri of reasons for why we’re choosing to postpone parenthood or skip it entirely. So, the next time someone asks when you’re having kids, just flash them a picture of your pug and go back to enjoying your worry-free, childless existence.
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