Raising Eyebrows, Not Kids: A Childfree Woman’s Comical Confrontations

Ever been given a not-so-subtle suggestion that you should have children during a conversation with a family member, friend, or even a casual acquaintance? If you’re a woman who has chosen a childfree lifestyle, chances are you’ve faced this situation a time or two.

The notion that womanhood is somehow defined by the capacity to bear and care for children is, outdated. But it persists, like a bad reality TV show that no one seems to cancel. And much like that TV show, it comes with an assortment of colorful characters and laughable plotlines.

Continuing our metaphorical reality show, let’s meet the first character: The one who insists, “Women are natural caregivers.” Ah, yes, because when they were handing out the X-chromosome, there was a special BOGO offer that included a free ‘Caregiving 101’ manual. Newsflash, folks: Not all women come equipped with the motherly instinct. Sure, some women might have a knack for soothing a crying baby or handling tantrums like a pro. Some might even enjoy it. But then, some women also enjoy skydiving, particle physics, and fire breathing. That doesn’t mean all women should, or even want to, hurl themselves out of planes, decipher quantum mechanics, or spew flames.

Now, enter character number two: The one who exclaims, “You’re so good with your pets; you’d be an excellent mom!” Let’s get one thing straight, people – dogs are not tiny, hairy children, and children are not bald puppies. Dogs wag their tails and fetch balls. Cats purr and chase lasers. Kids… well, they do a whole lot more, and require a different level of commitment. So, let’s refrain from equating pet parenting with human parenting. I’d much prefer dealing with my cat’s hairballs than a toddler’s tantrums, thank you very much.

And who’s next on the show? The eternal optimist, who insists, “You’ll change your mind.” As if the childfree choice is just a whim, a passing fancy, like craving chocolate at 3 am. Don’t you think if it were about changing minds, I would start with something simpler? Like becoming a morning person or giving up carbs?

And then there’s the dismissive character, “You’re overthinking. Just have a baby!” Oh, I see! Just like I decided on a whim to get bangs during the lockdown? Deciding to bring a human life into this world seems just as casual, right? Plus, the people who often say this tend to have that exhausted look in their eyes that screams ‘misery loves company’ more than ‘parenthood is bliss’.

Up next, we have the philosopher, “You won’t understand true love until you have a child.” I guess all the love I have for my partner, family, friends, and my adorable furball means nothing then? Sorry, mom, dad, significant other, and Fluffy. Apparently, my love for you is second-tier!

Enter the critic, “You’re not woman enough if you don’t want children.” Suddenly, my womanhood hinges on my willingness to reproduce, and we’re back in the 19th century. It’s as if being a woman has nothing to do with…being a woman! It’s all about popping out mini-humans. Who knew?

And finally, we have the judgmental character, the one who labels the childfree woman as ‘selfish.’ I’ll wear it with pride, thank you very much. If choosing not to bring a life into this overpopulated world, simply because society deems it appropriate, is selfish, then I’ll be that.

To all the childfree women out there navigating this topsy-turvy world of caregiving assumptions, pet analogies, mind-changing predictions, and accusations of selfishness – I salute you. Stand tall and stand proud. After all, we’re the ones redefining societal norms one childfree day at a time. In the end, we’re not just women. We’re individuals who make choices that work best for us. Now, that’s a plotline even a reality TV show would envy!